Joy eat thinking

Hi there
I’m on my last couple of pounds and working on each detail to get precise.

My protocol has always included a once a week joy eat. It always has sugar as that’s been my poison in the past. I’ve been off sugar for at least 6 months except for these planned “cheats”

I found I was spending the week planning and looking forward to the joy eat. I don’t want my life to revolve around joy I can get from food. I’ve added other joys and practiced staying on protocol in social events.
I focused on wanting to not want it and that worked to reduce the desire.
But when I have the sugar it brings up the desire again.

So today I had planned to have a waffle. When I got to it I didn’t really have that much desire for it but I felt like I would feel deprived later or during the week if I didn’t go through with the plan.
I enjoyed it but felt really foggy and unwell and hungry for more after eating it. And ate off protocol when I got home.

I’m just wondering if it’s really worth it to have these joy eats.
It seems to me that we do all this thought work to reduce desire but then still keep enough desire to have it once a week.
In the end it feels like a lot of unnecessary chatter. And it always reminds me of you saying you got sick of the chatter around your drink plan so you gave it up completely . I can relate to that thought with the joy eat plan.
But then there is the fear of deprivation if I give it up completely.

I often think I’m indulging in confusion with this. It’s true I just want to get it dialed in so I can move onto more interesting things in my life. Food as a source of joy is coming to an end in my life.

Or maybe this is all just good material for self coaching?

As always I’m so very grateful for the time you spend reading my rambling explanations.

Much love