Jumping to Compare + Despair instead of having pride in myself

Hi Coaches! I would love some coaching on my Unintentional and Intentional Models:

C – The male client told me my partner is “amazing!”
T – beautiful women get what they want / get ahead
F – despair / disappointment
A – “why bother?”, stew, be irritated, tell myself that I’m old and unattractive and no clients want to work with me, don’t move forward, don’t do client outreach, tell myself I won’t reach my goals
R – I don’t get ahead ??? I don’t reach my goals? I keep myself stuck?

I want to create support for myself – pride? Confidence? In love with myself?
Not immediately going into compare and despair – and I don’t want to immediately go to self-judgment.

C – The male client told me my partner is “amazing!”
T – so am I?????
F – pride?? In love with myself? Empowered?
A – think about other good work we could do with this client, do client outreach from a positive place? Give myself a high five for being awesome (this one is making me laugh, but it’s the action I want!)
R – I interact with the world from a confident place? I have my own back? I invite success? I interact with clients from a confident place?

I don’t want this to be me looking for external validation – I just want to love myself enough so that I can roll with this better. Are there questions I can ask myself to help find the cause of this? Or should I be developing ladder thoughts?