Kicking and Screaming In the Back Seat

The discussion on the call today re:not giving people we are in a relationship with power over us really resonated. We were wondering about situations when kids are fighting or not listening…..what is the next stop beyond recognizing that we have to manage our thoughts about them or their behavior…..Let’s say that they are fight in the car, which would normally trigger stress in us and then possibly yelling when they did not listen to our direction.If we don’t give them power to make us upset, that might make us more calm, but it wouldn’t change the event, and the kids would still be fighting. What do we do when we are calm, but the situation still isn’t in our favor?