Hi Brooke,

I feel like I don’t know how to make my marriage better.

There is hostility and animosity. I see my husband buffering, being unpredictable, getting explosively angry, then wanting to connect with me. Your words ring in my head – “love is always an option” – etc., but I can’t bounce back from him being super angry and mean, and then be open to him being friendly and acting like nothing happened. It feels complicated. I know I can’t change him. And I also don’t want a relationship with a high level of conflict, but I don’t know how to diffuse the conflict without compromising myself (ie giving in all the time). I have compassion for him, and yet I am not getting what I want and need, respect, consistency, stability, love. We have two kids who are witnessing all of this. I want to do right by them, but feel conflicted. Having a hard time simplifying this into a model. Thank you. Ps- I’d love to be coached real time but haven’t been able to get on “live”. Hoping next time I can. :). Thank you!!!!!