Manual for Friend Part 2

Tonight I spoke to one of the coaches and asked her to help me look further at your response to ‘Manual for friend.’

During our chat it came apparent that I wanted to speak about where the feeling was in my body that I felt which was anger. A lot of it was around my tongue tickling feeling almost burning sensation. She asked me to give it some space and welcome it there and it vanished.

While my original question to you was about my friendship, it became apparent that the issue was rooted more in my relationships to men in the past. I’m thinking this, as after the feeling had vanished from around my tongue, it dropped down towards my tummy and even below my belly button between belly button and pubic bone.

She asked me whether it was trying to tell me something.I noticed that it did want to tell me something, which I felt difficult to verbalise.

It basically said that I abused myself by sleeping with men that I wasn’t really into 100% and I did it to please them/not hurt them.

And by doing so I hurt myself.
I started tearing up.

It was time to finish the call and so she suggested I should do some work around grieving. I asked her what exactly she meant and she said grieving about what I’ve done and grieving the people pleasing.

I would definitely like to do some more work on this, so have started a model, but can’t get it quite to work for me or help me as I don’t know what the circumstance is.

Could you have a look please?

T: I am a people pleaser and I’m hurting myself by doing so
F: sadness
A: judging myself, crying
R: more sadness