Massive Action vs Manic Action

Hi – I’ve brought this up before, but it keeps coming up for me…I have an impossible goal which is to live in Europe. I’ve been doing well for a while – taking action, rethinking my work offer (I decided that I need 2 retainer clients to afford to live in Europe), etc, but any time that I have spare time, I find myself telling myself that I’m not taking enough action – and what is the symbol of taking enough action? That I’d be living in Europe.

So it feels like I’m on this weird merry go round where on one side I’m telling myself “you must take more action!” and on the other side “but I am taking action! And I see progress! and I want to do more than just work!” and I get anxious and feel frantic. And then I get frustrated and mad at myself and end up not taking any action other than making myself feel bad about this.

It feels like frantic (or manic) action vs massive action — “throw everything at the wall and see what sticks! as long as you’re taking action!!” — not giving myself credit for the work I’m doing, and the progress I’m making.
I’m wondering if I’m letting my goal overwhelm me – rather than showing constraint and making my actions my “mini-goals”…?

Here’s my model:
C – my impossible goal is to live in Europe
T – I’m not taking enough action
F – overwhelmed
A – berate myself because I have time right now and I could be taking more action during this time, and then berate myself because I’m not giving myself enough credit for the action I am taking, then get into a spin of “why even bother” with the election, etc.
R – end up taking less action…? (this doesn’t feel quite right, but it is the result today)

Thoughts? Recommendations?
Thank you!