Here today’s model on coherence:

– C: August 9th. I have been given a problem at work without formal deadline. Not solved yet. Did use exercise/Youtube/social media as a way to distract from negative thoughts without having defined a protocol for them.
– T: **I have not been coherent with my priorities ⇒ I am not coherent with my priorities**
– F: guilt, dirty
– A:
– Try not to listen to this voice: going through working time pushing and striving not allowing, for the fear of creating more confirmation of not being enough
– Give up: Quit intentional work, abandon the challenge (It’s already lost because I am a person who is not coherent with priorities), distract more with social media
– Hide: do not share this with other people (my colleagues included), I am ashamed to be seen as not put together
– Not setting new challenges/intentions, I do not have the emotional energy to do it
– Seek pleasure not coming from work elsewhere, food exercise and connection, where I show up as “needy”, and I have the urge to refill my “emotional tank”
– R less coherent with my priorities

To add more context around this model, I see my brain also thinking and believing :
– Coherence is not my thing
– I don’t know how to be consistently coherent
– Not being coherent is a terrible thing to do as a person, it means not having respect for me nor for others, so I dont deserve any respect from myself & others because of this
– When I see myself starting taking off and losing coherence I don’t know what to do I just let myself follow that trajectory
– I am not able to create coherent in my body on purpose
– Being coherent is hard, requires being strict (watchful+intentional+determined+compassionate) with myself, so it is ultimately impossible for me to remain coherent

I would be really grateful to receive your help on how to proceed intentionally from this model and build trust that I am coherent. Thanks for the support!