It occurred to me while I was on vacation that I have the thought “I’m not fun, when I’m being Mom”. I feel bitter towards those who allow themselves to have fun when there is work done. And I act “holier than thou” towards everyone and the result is I’m having no fun.
Okay so not sure if this just gets chalked up to be one of those times where I’m in negative emotion- part of my 50%. But I don’t like who I am when I’m in Mom mode. I don’t seem to be in Mom mode unless there is someone else around especially my husband and Family. When they are just watching me take care of the kids and not seeing what needs to be done I feel a stark contrast in how they seem to be relaxed and enjoying themselves- even adding to the work that needs to be done with the kids. I am trying to get stuff done and everyone thinks I’m the B and should just chill out, but if I chill out nothing gets done. I am frustrated when they don’t understand this. I want to be playing right along with them and sometimes wonder if they would get to work if I relaxed like them. So lots of thoughts here- mostly causing feelings of resentment and having me act like a B- proving my thoughts.
New thought- I am best at taking care of the kids so why not me do it. I am choosing to do this work
A: do the work with a better attitude
R: have fun doing what I love- taking care of my kids.
The second model seems so nice and of course I should choose it. And I do believe that thought and it makes me feel confident. I must be very stuck in my first thoughts however because I dont yet want to move on. I am holding onto the first model and hoping they will come to terms and recognize me for all the hard work I’m doing and see how unfair it all is when I work and they play. Can we say emotional child or what?!! Ha. I totally see the humor in my thinking. My toddler brain wants to win this one.
Any advice would be appreciated! Love you!