Money Model Help : find neutral money thought

Hi! I need some help finding a money thought I believe in. I actually have 10,000$ in my account the most I’ve ever had. I’m trying to fall in love with it. think I might need to start pretty neutral. I don’t believe any of the more positive ones. My model is below:

I have $10,000
It’s gonna leave me
I don’t take care of it, spend it, ignore it, ignore it, avoid it
I end up spending too much, a lot of it!

I have $10,000
capable (want to feel)
check on it, take care of it, celebrate, look for ways to make more
end up making more, keeping it and taking care of what I have

My problem is that every positive through I’ve thought of or read just feels really bad, I don’t believe it. I tried ‘i have money’ .. like i have a body, but even that feels bad. please help!

Thank you!