Money models

My biggest problem at the moment is that I’m afraid to waste my money away:
C: 5000€/month (2000€ more than usual)
T: you’re gonna spend everything and be poor again
F: afraid
A: I buffer by rushing in business everything I think I need, like furniture in the house
R: I spend everything

C: 5000€/month (2000€ more than usual)
T: that is the occasion to learn how to spend your money
E: curious
A: I am learning some tools in scholars, I am starting a spend journal, still spending a lot
R: I spend my money with conscious

Any suggestion for my next small step towards being totally in charge of my money ?