Hi Brooke,

I know you’re not on Facebook and that’s looking more and more attractive to me. But in the meantime here’s my obstacle. My mother and I did not support the same presidential candidate. She would post things that made me feel angry so I “unfollowed” her which means I no longer saw anything she posted. I saw this as a boundary violation so my boundary was “if you post nasty things about the person I support, I will unfollow you”.

She recently sent me a message questioning something my brother posted (can you believe an educator would say he will never call him President?). I called her knowing we needed to SPEAK about all this and I told her that I had unfollowed her months ago and we talked about how ridiculous it is for Facebook (and politics) to get between people. I felt good for being honest and speaking my truth. She gets to do what she wants, but I don’t have to look at it or be exposed to it.

Then yesterday she sends a message pointing out that I posted something about choosing love over hate and then “liked” something someone else posted about “F Trump”. “I’ll probably get unfollowed again” she ended with.

I hate that I am sending you a message about “likes” and posts and f-ing Facebook but it’s how this dynamic with my mother is playing out. It’s passive aggressive and part of me knows I should just be like, So What? Who cares what she says? But I’m angry and feel she like she is often trying to tear me down. She seems to get pleasure out of pointing out perceived flaws. My manual for her clearly states mothers should support their kids:)

C-Mom
T-Mom wants to tear me down
F- Anger
A- Turn away or retaliate
R-Distance grows

My Intentional thoughts are all condescending. Ones that make me feel better but not from a place of love. Can you help?
C- Mom
T-Her world consists of Facebook and political shows
F-Indifferent
A-Let it go
R-Our relationship is strained

Thank you,
Julie