Need your help in making decision

Hi Brooke,I really want your advice on this. You may have answered it in other forums but I think I need to get some more clarity from you.

First, I want to know how to make decisions more clearly. I know theoretically that any decision we make, we can make it right. For example, you decided to move from California and decided to make it right. Either of the decisions may have worked out for you and your business. The same goes for when we are trying to decide whether to make a marriage work or start afresh. Either will work. I am at a crossroads and I generally find it difficult to make a decision because either thing will be probably ok. And I don’t have anything pushing me to do it. But when I decide what looks logically correct to me, I am unable to follow through.

I had found love in programming at an early stage and it led me to becoming a software engineer. I have been one since last 20 years. But about 4 years back, I saw my passion shifting towards self improvement and helping others improve. I starting immersing myself in self improvement exercise, talks, books, mentoring colleagues, writing blogs, giving talks, driving women initiative at work. I think it is my life’s calling as I so immersed when I do this and I don’t know how time passes.

However, I also learned that I need to treat my job as an investment and work parallely and I am doing that now. I have started enjoying my work again. I also support my husband and kids financally. I am on a work visa so I need to continue work till I have a green card and I can set up a channel for my passion. I work at a very niche field at work which is regarded as very core and tough.I like it and am proud to be working on it but I am seeing some dissatisfaction at work now, I feel that I should move towards solving real problems with technology. But I need to develop skills for it and also spend substantial time to prepare for interviews (to either continue in my field of work or change).

With all the things that I am doing (work, family, children, self growth, initiatives), I don’t see how I can do this – If I see that I need to invest time in changing my field, I think that I will be loosing out on that time where I can build on my passion. I know I will be paid better, will have a better company tag. But I am skeptical of the new enviorment on whehter I will be able to grow in the same way I am doing here (in teaching others). I have build a network here – and am growing and now becoming known for my initiatives. I will have to start afresh in the new place.

Recently, I have also been thinking of moving to management. I have tried to think about it many times – and always pulled myself back. Most of the people have told me I will be good at it. And I have felt it as well. But I have always been kind of afraid of it as I have been told that I am not good at decision making (I am trying to chnage it in my head). I am probably afraid of a change.

At the deepest of my heart, what I really want is to build a business and a name for myself in the area of self growth. It is not necessarily one to one coaching but motivating the masses with unblocking messages. I want to help people change for the better and I want to shine while doing it.

If I look at where I am in my life currently, moving ahead in my job (changing for a better job) and parallelly developing myself as a guide seems to make makes more sense. But I feel a lot of restistant when I sit down to prepare for interviews – I think why do I need to spend my time and energy on this.

Please help !!

Thanks so much,