New thought for boyfriend feeling sorry for himself

Hi Brooke!

I’m in an amazing relationship with a man. However I’m trying to come up with a new thought in a particular situation. I feel that he complains a lot and feels sorry for himself. I realize that he’s an adult and i don’t want to have a manual for him so I want to change this thought.

Here are my models :
T He feels sorry for himself
F irritated
A Lecture him on the model (oh the irony!(
R I’m frustrated

T He’s frustrated
F loving
A listen
R Love him

But the new thought isn’t that compelling for me and leads me back to “if HE would just change his thought, he’d be happier.” Help! And thank you. XO