“Should” Thoughts

Hi Brooke, how do “should”models work?

C: Was in kitchen at my future mother-in-laws house and didn’t say anything
T: I should be comfortable with them by now.
F: negative (not sure on emotion)
A: spin in should thoughts, beat myself up
R: Should be different than I am?

I’m not sure on the feeling because it feels like acceptance because I agree with that thought. But at the same time it doesn’t feel great. There’s more “should” thoughts that follow such as I should be comfortable, I should be able to be myself, I shouldn’t be awkward etc.

I ask myself – What if it was okay if I felt uncomfortable? What if it was okay if I didn’t really talk? And my brain wants to freak out. Which means there is nothing wrong right? But what if I do want to be comfortable? Allow space for both emotions?