Not Allowing Transformation


Recently I realized that I hold the belief “This is how I know me, so this is how I always have to be” and also related – I’ve realized that I’m resisting transformation. The reasons I come up with that I’ve been resisting transformation are: it’s keeping me safe, no one I know intimately has become a completely different person, what if the people I love stop loving me, and what if I shine a light on myself and I get burned?

I’ve explored thoughts about this to try to shake this belief loose. The current thought I’m holding that feels very neutral is: “I’m just over here shedding my old identity” – like it’s no big deal. I’m hoping this thought will help give me permission to pursue being a different person.

I’m not really sure what I’m asking for here, but I guess I’m just looking for coaching 🙂

C –
T – I’m withholding transformation.
F – sad
A – study, but don’t implement; don’t talk about how I have changed; don’t get myself out there as a life coach
R – no transformation

C –
T – I’m just over here shedding old identities
F – neutral, allowing/permission
A – keep working on my transformation (still haven’t shared it much with others though)
R – slowly but surely make changes