Over drinking set-back

Holy Mackerel…..it Was going pretty well for several days. Last night I watched me have a little tantrum at 4 o’clock and didn’t answer the bell. Then again while making dinner, I drank mineral water and that was easy. Later, after two glasses of wine it was like a switch went off. My primitive brain took over and I started drinking almost frantically. Is that because I am limiting my drinking? There had to have been a kick-off thought but I don’t know what it was. Can you help me understand this? I am not getting something. It seems I am worse off than when I started.
Thank you, Clarice