Partner is Overly Critical of Cleanliness – Want to Fix Thoughts

My partner is very critical of me on terms of topics, e.g. cleanliness. It seems OCD-esque. I want to fix my thoughts about it. On one hand, what he does/ says when he’s being very critical seems emotionally abusive, and I feel like I shouldn’t tolerate that for 1) my own self-respect and sanity, and 2) I don’t want our future kids (we’re engaged) to adopt his reactions to stress. On the other hand, I think: “so what?” that he says/does certain things, I’m in charge of my own thoughts, feelings, and reactions. Not sure what to do, thanks.