I would love some coaching on perfectionism. I actually have a small coaching / therapy practice and a website called Courageously You, and have been struggling with who my niche is. I am now seeing that my niche has something to do with having courage rather than perfectionism – courage to be your true self. Perfectionism has held me back for most of my life. Somewhere along the line, I decided that I wasn’t enough, and that if I was ‘perfect,’ (which meant someone other than who I am), I would be OK. This lead to intense self loathing, feeling invisible for most of my life, and self beration beyond belief.

But my life has proven that that it is not the case that I should be someone other than who I am. I have a wonderful husband who loves me, really good friends, and many other blessings. However, that belief and standards of perfection cause me to literally give up before I’ve even gotten started. I’m turning 50 next month. I can’t bare to think that perfectionism will be my reality for the second half of my life. I want to break free of it. I am SO tired of being disappointed in myself.

So here’s a stab at a model addressing my perfectionism:

C – My standards are so high that I am never satisfied, and do not feel true joy in my life. (I think this is the C)
T – I wish I were someone other than who I am.
F – Sad, like I’ve missed the mark on life, regretful, afraid, overwhelmed.
A – Cram a ton into my life trying to do it all. Don’t take action on the things I believe I really want. (My biz)
R – Although I do get a lot done, I never really think it’s enough. I make grand plans to change, and I never do.