Question about work on myself

Hi Brooke! I wrote recently about thoughts on my relationship. My boyfriend and I ended up separating for now and I’m having a difficult time coping. You were completely correct after me doing a lot of self-reflection that I have been depending on him for my own happiness. I constantly felt like he cared about me less and less over time because of his actions and in return I acted out a lot. I realize now how unhealthy this is. I know he met someone last weekend at a hockey game which is why we ultimately separated. He lied about going to the game and hid meeting her. He claims they are just friends but, I know they have been in constant communication. I’m having a lot of self blame. I’m trying to accept that the relationship is no longer serving either of us right now and I want to try to keep improving myself and overall think in a more healthy way. I’m having a very hard time not letting my negative thoughts overpower me and I am recognizing I am looking for buffers such as alcohol or be around other people to avoid feeling how I am. I’m feeling a lot of guilt and anxiety. It’s been a problem of mine a long time thinking that I can’t control my own emotions which I now know is possible because of you! I really want to just be at peace with the situation and be nicer towards myself. Is there a better way to manage this?