Question on vanity

Okay, so I have finally dug deep enough to come up with some great compelling reasons for myself that are not negative. (yay!! hallelujah lol)

But- I am having trouble wrapping my head around choosing to lose weight for vanity purposes. I know that I’m having trouble because of how I was raised. I’m just going to be blunt here and say that all of the women in my family have let themselves go. (And I’m referring to my mom, aunts, grandma, and even some of their female children also). They are all people pleasers who put everyone before themselves, and sadly I have picked up on some of these bad habits.

BUT…I am forever breaking this chain. I am right on the cusp of figuring this out and I need your help. Even if its just your personal opinion!! I will take it. I respect your opinion because you are a true living example of what is possible in this area.

My question is: Why is it okay for me to want to lose weight just so I can feel hot? Is this a selfish to want that word in my vocabulary as far as how I view myself?

If I were to tell my mom this she would roll her eyes, make a snide comment, and then tell me I’m selfish for acting this way.

I guess I’ve always been in conflict with the word “hot” because I never felt like it was possible. Yes my husband thinks I’m beautiful and I feel beautiful with him. But now I want to feel HOT. lol.
I refuse to fall into their same judgy ass footsteps where they just let themselves go, and then hate on every other woman out there who dresses up and takes great care of themselves.

I want to change this and break this chain for good!!!!

thanks so much!!!