Recurring Insecurity

My partner openly loves big breasts and I have small ones. I can’t get past the thought that he is not satisfied with my body. How could he be when he loves something I don’t have? Yes I know he loves lots of other things about me and my body but I can’t get past the thought that he isn’t 100% satisfied.

My model looks something like this.
C – partner tells me he loves big breasts
T – he can’t possibly be satisfied with my body
F – insecure
A – quiz him about this, argue with him, cry, talk to a friend, write in my journal and try to make sense of it
R – I am not satisfied with my body

How do I want to feel? To be honest I feel like I’m indulging in insecurity because I almost want to stay there and make myself a victim.

When I have pockets of mental clarity I try to aim for feeling neutral with thoughts such as ‘my partner loves other things about me’, ‘my partner tells me that I’m sexy’.

In terms of how I feel about my body, I actually think I have a pretty good body and with other partners I have felt quite confident. But those partners didn’t love big breasts like my current partner does.

No matter what I keep going back to that original thought that he can’t possibly be satisfied with my body.