Hi! Last week I was depressed. I’m thinking a lot about my relationship with my husband and I’m feeling disappointed sometimes. I judge him as not being very social. He doesn’t want to experience deep kisses, he doesn’t like it. And sometimes we don’t have sex for 2 or 3 weeks.
On top of that, I think that I’m not able to accept him as he is, because I know this is my thoughts creating my experience in my marriage. I judge myself and my self-coaching, I wonder if it’s working… And then I think that even if I leave him one day, I will not be able to create a loving relationship with anyone else, because this is all about my thoughts and I’m not able to change them. I only see gloom and unhappiness in the future for me during those moments.

C I’m feeling disappointed
T I’m not able to love him as he is.
F depressed
A don’t talk a lot, isolate, ruminate
R I don’t create the marriage I want.

C I’m feeling disappointed
T I will never be able to live a loving relationship ever
F hopeless
A ruminate, don’t talk, isolate, spiral into depression
R I’m separating myself from love and happiness

At the end of the week we talk about me being sad, and I said to my husband that I don’t want us to be roommates, that I thought we were drifting apart, and I asked him if he were ok to kiss sometimes (no deep kisses, just simple kisses). He was sad and since then we kiss more often.
Did I change my circumstances to feel happier? I guess I don’t really want a marriage where we don’t kiss at all and live “as roommates”, so it’s ok to feel sad about it sometimes? What I observe is, I’m depressed about it every x weeks… I could even draw a graph to observe it. How to get prepared for the next depression wave?
What do you think? Thanks!