I’m struggling with my relationship with my teenage daughter. She seems to not like me, keeps her distance from me, talks very little to me, etc. She seems to be making it abundantly clear that she doesn’t like me. I know some of this is normal in teenagers. She is fine in other ways–doing well in school, has friends. She will talk to her dad, so I’m glad she at least has one relationship she feels comfortable sharing in, though I wish she felt comfortable confiding in me. After taking this to a coach for the 20 minute coaching session, I tried to adopt the thought “She doesn’t like me right now and that’s OK.” But that doesn’t feel true to me. I think I still think it’s a problem that she doesn’t like me.
Here is my unintentional model
C: Daughter is keeping distance from me
T: She doesn’t like me right now and that’s a problem
A: Withdraw, ruminate, overfocus on problem
R: Distance from her increases
I’m struggling to find a new way to think about it. Can you offer some bridge or ladder thoughts?