My question is regarding Day 3 in the May Relationships workbook. I have decided to ‘do the homework’ on my ex-son-in-law. In May I could not bring myself to even write his name in the book. But I know that my thoughts about him are only hurting me. So I am doing the work now. I completed #1-Judgement. That was easy and sooooo freeing to put all of those awful thoughts on paper. And #2 went well. But #3 – I’m struggling. “Allow them to be who they are meant to be. Who are they? What do they do? How do they act?” That is the question. And I find myself answering ‘Who are they?’ with sentences from Day 1 when I judged him. He is manipulative, selfish and mean. Those are my thoughts. But I don’t want to think that anymore. I need a bridge. I need something in the middle of ‘He is manipulative, selfish and mean’ to ‘He is kind, giving and loves his children.’

My brain cannot see him as kind. I know that is a thought. I know I am choosing it. Can you make my brain start believing that he is kind?? How do I make my brain start believing it so that I can actually write it down? The struggle is real!!