I met a guy who things ended up being not mutual as far as our interest level. This was expressed by him in a text message. I showed my care and adoration for him for a while after, just because I wanted to. Eventually it faded out.
Before our time of hanging out, he used to communicate with me by writing on Instagram, viewing my stories, and liking my photos. He stopped all communication initiated by him.
I realized hanging out with him, he was not someone I would want to be with. However I still really had an attachment to him.
I wasn’t thinking about how he would respond. My reasons were pure intentioned to just help myself. He has been front and center in my brain for a while, and not in a helpful way.
In my experience of dating, I’ve just realized I don’t want bare minimum connections.
He ended up messaging me asking me if I took him off my Instagram. I replied yes, and he said I wish you the best. Then this morning he blocked me.
I started feeling so bad. I started second guessing myself. I sent a message letting him know I was not trying to hurt his feelings and that I care about him. I expressed how I felt in a honest thoughtful way. I feel good that I sent that, but I also feel like maybe I kinda threw myself under the bus.
I made his actions of messaging me and blocking me, mean that he possibly did care about me and that I hurt him. I know his thoughts create his feelings, but I still feel responsible for showing him I care about him.
I want to release things that don’t serve me, and I thought I was doing so by doing this. However, I didn’t anticipate responses like that. I made his no contact with me mean that he wouldn’t care.
I notice me making things mean stuff and creating my own bad experiences, but the fact is he doesn’t contact me at all. I don’t want to settle for bare minimum so I am not anymore.
I feel like I have so much compassion and love for people I try for. I invested time and a lot of energy to him. So in the end making that decision was hard and his pushback was even harder. I don’t want to treat him how he treated me, and I don’t think I did though I feel bad for erasing him. I only feel bad though because he expressed something to me.
How can I release things without feeling like I did something wrong to them? He never expressed care until I did that.