I am the only one in my family that lives away from my hometown. I visited earlier this summer, and when driving home from a lovely family event my sister made a very unkind comment to me in front of my elderly parents. It totally shifted the mood. In the past, I have been very reactive. This time I paused and responded in a very quiet voice. She didn’t let up. It hurt. Following that outburst, my inclination was to go to her and ask her what had triggered her and why we seem to never be able to talk things through. I couldn’t do it, as I am always made to be wrong by her. She lashes out either verbally and has even been physical with me in the past. I don’t feel emotionally safe around her.

I saw her several times after that, and spoke and texted with her. She was out of the country for a couple of weeks and I never heard from her following her trip. I have called her once in the last month and sent her a text. She is very business like in those situations. I don’t want division or strife, yet I don’t really feel like extending myself anymore. I don’t want to be her go to in her passive aggressive outbursts. Suggestions?