Thanks for your quick response. I know “I know all this” but I guess it just takes so much practice. I love the new model you gave me and never thought of it like that. I guess it takes a lot more model practice. I have to keep reminding myself that I need to have control of my thoughts and feelings. I do want to have a good relationship with my mom and of course, I do love her. So thank you. I’m hoping that with more practice it becomes instinctual. Like my analogy of remembering all the steps to learn how to ski. At first, my brain was so tired remembering every different skill but it eventually I did it without “thinking”. On a side note, I was listening to your podcast on “negativity” 155 and I was laughing out loud because it is so true. Undoing, negative behavior is quite a challenge and I’m incorporating being aware of all conversations today at work surrounding negativity and just being mindful. My question is “Is negativity in jest” just as bad or should I change wording. For example, we had a baby shower at work yesterday, and we were asked to write a note to the soon to be born little baby boy so he can read it in the future. It was very cute. Parents are die hard baseball fans so we wrote notes on baseballs. I tend to joke around at work and having 3 teenagers and working as a school nurse with teens all day, I jokingly wrote “dear Owen, please don’t give your parents a hard time when you are a teenager”…The soon to be mom laughed out loud. She is the assistant principal, I love her, we deal with teens together on a daily basis and her laugh is contagious. But listening to your podcast made me think. Was I being negative? Should I have reworded that in a more positive funny way? Am I overanalyzing this? Sometimes I find humor in negativity. I can be very sarcastic. I’ve read somewhere that sarcasm is not a good habit but I am. Is that bad? Was curious about your thoughts.
P.S. This is my second month into the program and I’m thrilled. I shared a lot with my husband last night and he has also noticed a change in me. I signed up for over drinking but I’m getting so much more out of it. And I have reduced my amount of drinking a lot. I just want to keep up the momentum. I have a tendency to start things and not finish….ooops there goes my “thinking” that could turn into a “belief” if I allow it to. This too will change. 🙂 Thank you.