Second month blues


I joined scholars last month because I wanted to deal with the distracting desire of my one cigarette a day habit (usually around 5 PM) and my one chardonnay or similar alcoholic beverage per day habit. I don’t feel out of control, just shackled to my habits. I seem to be able to give up the alcohol for short periods (a week or so) but not the cigarette, and sometimes it’s visa versa–I can give up the cigarette but not the daily drink.

But since I’ve been trying to change for years, I knew the time management was my ticket to change. I knew that the idea of being able to follow my own plan was the ticket to telling myself what to do and LISTENING. I decided I had to work on scheduling myself and keeping promises to myself before I dealt with giving up (or cutting down on) both my drink and puff. Then I went away for two weeks in April. My routine of doing a morning download faltered. I couldn’t smoke at the friends’ that I stayed with but I could still have alcohol, so I did. But my time management went downhill. I felt less in control of me.

Now it’s May, and I’m not sure what to do. I don’t feel like I finished working on time management last month. And I didn’t start with dealing with the drink and puff. So now what do I do? I feel like I’m floating, but really want a place to start and a goal that I can’t swerve from. Thanks!