Self Coaching


I’m not sure if I am self coaching correctly.
I found that doing a thought download and pulling out my thoughts wasn’t really doing enough, I needed to dive deeper?
example below.  It’s a bit like having a conversation with myself

T: I miss this person because this person no longer wants me in their life

-What does it mean to miss someone?
there’s an absence
-What does it feel like?
I feel it in my jaw, i feel it in the pit of my stomach, it feels heavy, its in my chest, and it pulls downwards, it rotate sand flips, it spans across my chest
– Why is missing someone so bad
because i’ve lost them, they used to make me happy
-Do you think you could create your own happiness?
eventually, perhaps
-Why not now?
Because i don’t like myself, my brain wants, pleasure, fun, risk, it does not want to do the hard stuff
-Why is that a problem for you?
Because I need to get work done and I’m constantly distracted thinking about this person.  I need to start earning money again
– There are a lot of ‘needs’ what if you flipped it to ‘want’ instead, how would that feel?
-Do you think you would still be seeking pleasure if you ‘wanted’ to get work done?
Probably not
– What if it was okay when you seek pleasure, what if you told yourself  it’s okay my brain is trying to keep me safe, I’ve got your back.
Just having an awareness of these thoughts can be enough to release some of the resistance

Is this an effective way to coach myself? Are these helpful questions or am I on the wrong track?