My 5 year old daughter has tactile sensory modulating disorder. Hers is over reactive so as an example,  clothes or shoes can send her into a full meltdown because she is in physical pain (this is not a psychological disorder.) Her fight or flight system and nervous system is on overdrive when she experiences some sensations or senses (smell is another.) It has really made me consider my own sensory processing, as well as how a physical sensation gives us a feeling, but then our thoughts about that feeling can drive us insane.

I have been teaching her the waves of emotions and how to stay with them and let them move through her body. I feel she displays what adults cannot when they are processing an urge/desire. For example, being wet drives her crazy. She will dry her hands very thoroughly after washing and no one can touch her with wet hands. She also wipes a lot after going to the bathroom for the fear of being wet. She wants to do that a lot, but we have to tell her only twice so she does not hurt her skin. In the moments that she wants to wipe again, the urge is so intense that she literally screams/cries I DON’T FEEL GOOD. IT’S NOT PASSING (the desire to wipe again for the fear she is still wet). I stay with her and help her experience the terrible feeling inside and rock her to soothe her. But, this is how I too feel in some moments that I am feeling an urge. I also do not feel good and want it to pass immediately. The difference is no one was able to ever help me in those moments as a child so it wasn’t until I was an adult (with a lot of help from Brooke’s work) that I too have learned to process an emotion.

I share all of this for 2 reasons. One, just how much the model is helping me to understand my child’s experience. Two, wondering if you have any thoughts/comments/advice for helping a young person process desire or to anything that I shared. I have felt pretty helpless lately, but for the first time I recognized it and have allowed myself to feel it….while also looking at all the resources/ support etc that we have available to us that is giving me hope. I feel I am simultaneously experiencing the feeling of helplessness while holding onto hope too. I would appreciate any thoughts/comments. Thank you!