Sex in marriage

Hi, I’ve identified a thought that I have which is more or less “I feel it’s impossible for me to be with someone I both really love as a person, a husband, a father for my children and to feel a strong sexual desire for this person” or “We can’t be a family and aroused lovers.” How can I contemplate this in a more useful way? How can I have both a loving husband & committed father and a lover I want to have sex with – in the same person? Thanks.