Shitty Divorce

I’m going through a divorce in which my husband is being a jerk – which he did not seem to be when I married him (or I was blind). Anyway, currently my travel is restricted out of the state where we live, where all of his family lives and none of mine. I feel trapped and angry. We have two young children and I’m not allowed to say anything negative about him, which seems to mean that he can feel free to be a lying a-hole and I can’t do anything about it.
C: Divorce from my husband
T: I hate my life.
F: Discouraged/defeated
A: wish he would disappear so I could live my life in peace and freedom, used to spend a lot of time second guessing and reviewing our relationship – doing less of that now, but feel drained and unmotivated to do thing. Do have ideas of things I’d like to do, but feel fear about moving forward with them.
R: not creating a life I love?

C: Divorce – society – location
T: This is unfair.
F: pissed
A: talk with female friends about how frustrating this is, get support. Ask about what we can do about sexism, but no concrete action steps (or some but not sure how to execute)
R: life is still unfair, might be able to make an impact

C: he gets to lie and be mean and I can’t let my children know he is a jerk
T: this is unfair and unreasonable.
F: angry
A: think my anger gets expressed, if just non-verbally. Find ways to education my children on narcissistic behaviors so they will recognize them when they happen since I can’t tell them specifics about their father. Feel good about this. Then start feeling like a loser for marrying this loser – I must be, I married him.
R: I’m not consistently helping myself.