Last weekend my two sisters, our friend we grew up with and myself all went on a long weekend vacation. They flew out to Florida and I drove to meet them. There was a big fight and now the one sister isn’t talking to any of us now. Growing up she was often rude to me and then when I would get upset she would ignore me for months on end. In general, she seems to expect the people around her to behave like her personal assistants and gets really mad when people don’t do things for her or ask her to help out. My other sister basically takes on the role of her assistant. I don’t. I watch Keeping up with the Kardashians to prepare myself.
Per usual Kris was dismissive of me, rude at times and wouldn’t talk to me much. For example, she wanted me to take some photos of her but didn’t like the way I was taking them and was swearing at me and being really demanding. I feel like if I would have acted that way towards her she would have been super angry. Eventually I said I’m not taking any more pictures because I don’t think you are being very kind to me and walked away. She got really mad because of an umbrella incident on the beach involving my other sister and our friend. I was sort of the mediator on that one. I was trying on the thought, She gets mad a lot and that’s okay.
At the end of the trip three of us were together and decided we wanted a smoothie. My other sister found a place on her phone that looked good and we started walking towards it. Kris was complaining of the heat but we were close so we said let’s trek on, we are almost there. The little shop was not what we were hoping for, but we were on a time crunch for their flight and it worked. Then Kris wanted my other sister and I to walk back to the car and get it and come around to pick her up because she didn’t want to walk back. I’m not walking back, she said angrily. None of us want to walk back! Why do you get picked up?! We can all take an Uber back. Then she wanted us to get the Uber because she didn’t have it on her phone. Didn’t ask us to get it and offer to chip in or attempt to download the app. This was when I flipped out. Now she is giving me the silent treatment.
I would like to work on not getting so mad at her and also not letting her mistreat me. I also feel really guilty and anxious and stuff when she is mad and that doesn’t feel good.
Here is one of my thought models:
Kris hasn’t responded
I was so mean. She won’t forgive me.
I’m mean to myself.
Kris hasn’t responded.
She doesn’t have to respond.
we are okay
Kris isn’t talking
We deserve it. She feels bad and we caused it.
Kris isn’t talking
she will be okay