My partner is at a therapeutic retreat this weekend and on the first night I messaged him and asked “How was it?” in a text message. He told me the next morning that me asking questions had caused him to lose touch with the therapeutic process and the closeness that he had developed within himself during the first 3 hours of workshop. He then wanted to come home straight away 3 days early because I had ruined any chance he had of recovery. He did decide to stay for at least the next day since the workshop is built to have support around this.

Now, I am so angry that he is blaming me and while I think that he was fully able to jump back in the next day, I can’t get over how mad it makes me that he tried to blame me and make me feel bad by saying he wanted to come home.

I don’t think that he blames me now though and I feel like he has completely dropped it, but I am so mad that he even blamed me in the first place.

When my thoughts start to spiral, I want to send messages about how it wasn’t my fault that he chose to respond and that he shouldn’t be blaming me for losing touch with the workshop. I don’t send these but I really want to.

He made me feel bad enough about coming home early that I haven’t really sent any other messages, especially not questions because I don’t want to risk him blaming me again.

I just want to be able to see the workshop for what it is, a healing experience for him. I also want to be happy and excited that he is getting help. I know that he will be back home in just a couple of days, but I get stuck looping on him blaming me.

Is there a way out of this?