What is the Model of cognitive dissonance for you with the same circumstance?  Other side of cognitive dissonance:
C: Husband said “Do you want to go?”
T: I can be flexible today and he wants to spend time with me
F: Unconditional love
A: Agreed with my husband to go do something this morning with him. Went with the flow, Ate a donut with him (felt pressure to please him?) even though I did not want to eat it. Avoided his possible and response, which he says and does a lot, “you ruined our time together because you did not eat the donut with me” and once again there is evidence questioning our relationship and how it’s not working because I don’t like the things he does or I don’t want to do the same things he does…this is his comment often and yes I know it is his model. Did not do things that I would like or want to do.
R: avoided doing what I wanted to do or suggested to do on our morning outing to avoid his comments and to “make him happy”

For example, below – what thought led to unconditional love for you? What result did that create for you?
C: Husband said “Do you want to go?”
T: I can be flexible today and he wants to spend time with me
F: Unconditional love
A: Agreed with my husband to go do something this morning with him. Went with the flow.
R: enjoyed and felt unconditional with my husband.

After working on these models I realize that I have some resentment that I don’t receive the same unconditional love like this outing. It is usually what he wants to do 100% of the time. It is not that I am competing but I find that if I want to do things and want him to come along to my errands he doesn’t because it is what I want to do or he starts to dominate and change what I have planned because he doesn’t like it or won’t do it.

I guess I am having expectations that he could do the same for me sometimes. I am getting tired of always “bowing” to his suggestions in what we are doing and he then makes it a problem that there is something wrong with our relationship (me of course!) if I do not go along with it. He has the right to feel good and do what he wants to do. I would like to have the same though and not be called out like I am not loving enough in our relationship or that there is something wrong with it because I want or need to do something.