Still going after giving up and burning out in August

Hi Brooke –

First of all, I want to say THANK YOU for your coaching at the July VIP Modelthon. You coached me on *not* being an accident – telling me that I am supposed to exist and that I do not owe any debt to the universe. This was so affirming to hear and I will always be grateful for that in person coaching with you.

I joined SCS to get coaching for myself, with the longer term goal of becoming a coach. I dove into SCS, faithfully completing the daily homework, watching the calls, and posting to Ask Brooke regularly. I also had started a blog and got 1:1 coaching with Suzy.

I realize now that I was completing a lot of this work, and even aiming to become a coach, out of a scarcity mindset. After Modelthon, I was very excited about continuing SCS and eventually getting certification. I also got physically sick at the end of July. In retrospect, I had spent the last 7 months “balancing” SCS, a 40+ hour/week job and three young kids without giving myself any downtime. I was telling myself that SCS was my downtime because I enjoyed it so much, but I ended up burning out.

A couple weeks into August, reflecting on your teachings about finding one’s purpose, I thought, “Hey! I don’t HAVE to become a coach. I don’t HAVE to do SCS homework. I am still a good/worthy person without this.”

And I quit.

I quit doing the daily assignments. I quit my goal of becoming a coach. I sat on the couch and ate ice cream. I took naps. It was actually pretty good. The illness that I’d had for weeks went away.

But I did not quit SCS, either. Many times, I have been so tempted to quit SCS and donate the money to charity. This is the first time I have really invested in myself in this way, and it is uncomfortable.

My burnout moment was about a month ago. I am continuing with SCS with a different mindset now. I’m not doing the daily worksheet, but I have a goal for September that I have been working on every day. I’m watching some of the calls but not every single call. And I haven’t cancelled my membership. 🙂

Despite all this drama, I think I may still end up as a coach. Despite my brain’s best efforts to steer me clear of that!

One of the best things I did this year was to offer a 6-week coaching program at my corporate job. I’ve had four colleagues go through it now and they’ve had great results – one of them is senior to me and told her boss about it. I also do some (non-coaching) work with her boss, and last week he noted a couple of opportunities for me to continue to expand my work for him. He said that I can think about it and that he wants to hear my preference. I’m reading this as “you’re very high potential and we want you to stay engaged – tell us what you want to do.”

I realize this could be an opening for me to expand my coaching role at my corporate job. If I can let the opportunity develop and have the courage to say what I really want to do, I think this could be amazing.

Thank you again for SCS, I love it and I’m glad to be here!