Struggle Bus/Overwhelm

Hi, I have been having a lot of Cs come up in my life that I have gotten coaching on before and it was very helpful. I think I am in an ok place with that. I have noticed though that recently (not sure if its related but my brain is wanting to make them connected), I have felt like everything is extra hard. I am asking myself to do more physically in my workouts and I just notice how much my brain is complaining the whole time. Thoughts like “is this what 48 is going to feel like?” (yesterday was my birthday) or “this shouldn’t be so hard for you, stop trying to run you hate it,” etc. I notice too I could do a better job of celebrating my win once its over instead of telling myself “I should be running faster or it should be easier for me.”

I am not sure if I am mentally run down from this more challenging Cs in my life right now or is this just my brain complaining? When I think about what I have coming up everyday, it seems “busy” or “packed” with stuff I have to do which I know is total BS. I am not sure why I keep plugging into “I have to do it” instead of “I want to do it” or even “I don’t want to do it” at least acknowledging that it is in fact, my choice. Any thoughts here are appreciated. Thanks!