Hi there! I’m writing for a bit of support with a model about work. The team I lead has a blended role that is partially internal support and partially external work. Recently, we’ve had a number of internal teammates surface frustrations about supports they wished they had from our team, some of which are within our control and others that aren’t feasible or aligned with our team’s goals. I have ideas for how to respond, but underneath all of them is a tide of perfectionism and people-pleasing, which I’m trying to avoid. So far, I’ve got:

Unintentional:
C: Feedback for team
T: I suck and am making others mad
F: Ashamed
A: Overthink, try to control/perfect everything I do, judge them for judging us, swirl in indecision/paralysis
R: Don’t contribute and give others power over my thinking/feelings

Intentional:
C: Feedback for team
T: Others can feel whatever they want OR I can listen to others’ perspectives without losing my core confidence
F: Sensitive AND confident
A: Listen empathetically, don’t make feedback mean more than it does, thank people for sharing their perspectives, apply learnings
R: Show up authentically and take mindful action

I have two questions about these:
1) I’m feeling like my intentional feelings and thoughts are almost paradoxical: I want to be both sensitive to what others need while also not sacrificing my own POV and leadership. Is this okay or am I trying to have it two ways? Is there a push you’d have for me to sharpen?
2) Or, should I actually have two completely separate models here: one around others’ feelings and one around my own confidence?

Thanks in advance for any feedback you have!