Hello Brooke,

I am in need of help in working through something with my 14-year-old son. Here are my facts:

1. We recently switched my son’s school because he was not being challenged and was not being allowed to work ahead of his classmates.
2. On day 1 at the new school, my son said that he wanted to go back to the old school because he missed his friends.
3. We have been disagreeing every day for the last 8 days about whether or not he should give the new school a fair chance.
4. I have been doing daily TDLs and models and my intentional thought every morning comes back to, “This is just his process; he is at the school that is right for him.”

My THOUGHTS are that this kid is making a huge mistake in not being willing to give his new school a chance, and that he is going to kill me with all his angry drama and could decide just to “fail out” in protest. I can see clearly that I have a manual for how he should live his life and that I have him in the results line (where I know he shouldn’t be) of the bigger picture school model here…

I am remembering a podcast (which I haven’t been able to find again so I will email Kim for ideas about which one it was) about a teen girl who was choosing a relationship that her mother wouldn’t have chosen for her. I am remembering that you suggested that she explain her concerns to her daughter and then love her daughter and let her go on to make her own choices. Would you apply that here with my teenage son and his school as well? Or is there a time with minor children that you just “tough it out” and continue to try to strong-arm them into “submission” thinking that they don’t have the perspective to see the opportunity costs?

I know it is true that I can’t know for sure what is “right” for him and what his path “should” be, but I have the thought that it is so hard to watch him give up opportunities that could very well affect him academically and financially for years to come.

Thank you!!