I’m having a hard time text communicating with the guy that I’m dating. Sometimes he’s really great over text and quick in response and sometimes he takes hours to respond, typically on the weekends… We are long distance so communication is all we really have other than the time we get to see each other. I don’t know if I’m asking for too much or perfection from him but my thoughts are making me extremely upset. Whenever he takes so long to text back, I assume he is doing something that would hurt me or purposefully ignoring the text. Then I ruminate and don’t sleep well and am not as nice and I even cling a bit more by texting back to back or calling after texting… I even think of ways of ending it with him to not feel all this or deal with it whenever this happens. Help! Overall I just want peace. I don’t know if I am accepting bad behavior but I can’t expect him to be texting all day like I want to . I also don’t want to be so reactive in my mind any tome he falls short.
UGH I’m so confused!

Thought Download: He should text back sooner, he should acknowledge my text even when he’s with his friends, he’s hiding something, what is he doing? I am nervous to ask him what he was doing, I don’t want to be prying or controlling, I would text him if I was out with my friends, I make him a priority why is he not making me a priority? I deserve better, would someone even give better? Am I asking for too much? I need my own life! I need to let go of my grip of him! I want to allow him to be himself and show up as himself, I want to be less controlling, I wish I didn’t make this such a big deal, I wish you would text back sooner, He does text quick a lot of times, what happens when he does not,

I think I am making it mean: He does not care, he is not consistent, I deserve better, He is hiding something, I am allowing bad behavior, Something is wrong with me.

UM
C: Text him and he didn’t respond for 5 hours
T: He should text me back sooner
F: Frustrated
A: Nagging, Don’t sleep well, ruminate, assume the worst, try to think better thoughts, don’t believe better thoughts, Mad at him, distance myself by thinking bad things about him but also want to cling tighter, want to end it. Judge myself for not having control of my feelings and thoughts.
R: I live out the worst case scenario, I don’t sleep

IM
C: Text him and he didn’t respond for 5 hours
T: I am glad he is out having fun with his friends
F: Understanding
A: Sleep better, Kinder, Compassionate,
R: Less stressed, show up better.

The UM seems better but I don’t know that girl. She seems too understanding and like she will get played by someone. The IM seems more like who I have been but I’m tired of that stress I allow with those negative thoughts! Any coaching would be much appreciated!