^Things got crunchy

Hi Brooke

I stopped buffering for a couple of days and didn’t like it. Got any easier options? ha ha.

I am experiencing heavy fightback. Still doing daily exercises, but my models are either not completely convincing or don’t have very positive emotions in the intentional part. I think I’m being quite punitive about this.

I am reducing buffering, but not properly allowing or experiencing my negative emotions. I do know when I’m in anxiety and sometimes jot it on my 100 urges list, along with my situation, feelings and sensations, but later in the day, or even the next morning, the urge is still sitting there waiting for me to bust and eat some choc, then it goes away.

Is it OK to listen to a podcast every day for a morale boost? Or should I just get on with the damn exercises?

I’m having also difficulties with my hourly schedule. I was failing to complete so many tasks in previous weeks that I’ve hardly written any tasks on there this week. I’m apparently very skilled at diversifying my energy over many tasks at once in preference to finishing one. I know in every case what i should be doing, but then…like magic.. i’m not doing it.

I now have psychosomatic sickness from the stress of failure and it’s all spiralling downwards a bit. I probably should model on my lack of faith that anything will change.

Not your best student
Dex :[