I felt like I was doing really well with models and materials and getting control of my mind and mood and… this evening? Scorpion in the house. I lost it, I know the model doesn’t necessarily work for phobias, but I’m trying to get to a point where I don’t automatically have a string of thoughts that lead to: we have to move out NOW, because some scorpions are deadly and we have small children and we have to leave the whole region and it’s irresponsible for me to continue living here with my kids if I can’t keep them safe. I guess how I want to feel is “fine.” or “unfazed”. Like ok… we live in the tropics, in this part of the tropics there are scorpions and you might them in your house and need to kill them and call pest control. One came in the house, my husband saw it, he took care of it, no one died, we’ll schedule someone to come this week. But wow… the thoughts spilling over like, “there’s more where that came from, they’re probably nesting in the walls, I have to make the kids sleep in their shoes in case they step on one in the middle of the night because I don’t want them to die. We have to move, even though we weren’t planning on moving… our lives depend on it.” When I type it out it looks insane, I know this on a certain level, but the brain… it keeps saying, don’t let go of this fear or you won’t be hyper vigilant enough to keep the kids safe. Now get the f out of here. Do I need to stay here until I’m happy living with the possibility of scorpions? Because I’d rather not be…