I think there is a lot to unpack here, and I realize my thoughts blend into the circumstances… but I will try to formulate a question.
I realize this is a thought, but I believe that my sister is determined not to like me. I have tried for over a year (I see her several times a year) to “throw out my manual” and love her just as she is… But it is very hard! She is the only one I have not had success with this approach- at least not for more than a very short time.
I will be spending a week at the beach with her and three other family members in a couple of months… This occurred last year also, and she was pretty determined to hate me then, too. (I believe this based on behavior of curt replies, running to pick a room the second she walked in the door without saying a thing to me about it, distancing herself from me, not accepting offers to do anything with me, etc.)
Again, a thought, but I believe she expects MY behavior to be perfect without exception, and she resents the fact that from her perspective, my life seems to go a lot better than hers. I think she thinks I am too “perfect.” I also think she thrives on the fact that she believes she has power over me that she can “make me” feel uncomfortable- It may be the only power she thinks she has.
I know there are a lot of thoughts tied up in all of this, but if nothing else, I want to get through the week without worrying about it or feeling uncomfortable by her undesirable behavior. What can I do in a situation where I am “stuck with” a person I am pretty sure is determined to hate my guts for a week- on an otherwise amazing trip?