Hi Brooke,
I can’t tell you enough how amazing these tools learned at the LCS and through SCS have been. Thank you for your work!!! I have a situation with an ex boyfriend who just broke up with his gf and wants to consider getting back together but said he isn’t ready. We have been in touch since two weeks ago when he broke up but there is no definite promise on his part we will reunite and he has said I need to not put my life on hold for him. At the same time we talk every day. It feels so ambiguous to me and I feel like he holds all the power here. I just called him today to say it is probably best we don’t talk until he figures out what he wants. It’s been confusing as my feelings for him grow but I don’t want to be at his whims. So would the model be:
C ex bf talks to me every day but isn’t making a commitment
T He doesn’t seem to know what he wants so he must not really want me
F insecure
A obsess about whether I’m wasting my time or if he really loves me and wants me
R waste time over obsessing and feeling anxious
problem is I have another model

C ex bf talks to me every day but not willing to commit
T If I tell I’m not to call me until he figures it out I’m afraid he will give up
F Afraid
A act unsure of my boundary
R I still obsess that he may give up

Is this a boundary issue? Can you help me find a model to make the boundary from a stronger place. I think we being afraid to make it in the first place is not going to make it go well regardless