Understanding a thought

My husband and I are business partners, I believe we can make an incredible team, but I have a lot of thoughts that I feel I need to work through to get there.

I have this automatic thought that is persistent, that I want to understand. I’ve used it in the model with my husband, but I think this thought anytime someone tells me to do something. It’s been around for as long as I can remember, so in that way it’s like a belief. I’m curious about it, and about the process to work through it.

C: Husband says words
T: Don’t tell me what to do <<<this is the thought, but should I break it down more? Is there a time to break it down more? (Example: I can handle this on my own)
F: resistance
A: Downplay his request; prioritize other things. Spin. Stew
R: I don’t respect him or his requests, I don’t direct myself as to what to do either.

There are thoughts like this that I have that I know are not serving me and not giving me the result of partnership that I want to create. This is the automatic thought I have. Is this a situation where I’d want a ladder thought to get to a result that is partnership, trust, connection?
Thank you