Urge jar and self-loathing

The Urge Jar is wonderful to prevent overeating (“Oooh, a cherry tomato!”) but not for my deep self-loathing (“You’re completely worthless” and other niceties). It’s actually allowed me to see the difference between those 2 situations. But what to do? I realise that self-loathing is a choice that’s not serving me.
C – my kids: “we don’t like your quiche”
T – I’m completely worthless as a Mum
F – desperate
A – I overeat, I don’t want to feel the pain, I show my kids the example of someone who overeats
R – I make my protocol and impossible goal (losing weight) worthless
I’ve decided to spend the whole month of May on my relationship with me and myself and I’m already treating myself with compassion AFTER an episode: I love you anyway, you did nothing wrong, my Future Me loves me anyway. That’s brand new to me.
What am I missing?