Urges and anxiety

I’ve found a belief that people who can process urges (or who just generally have tons of self control around food) are magical unicorns. Like it’s in their DNA. I have a medical condition and not following my eating plan is starting to show symptoms. I think I may be starting to have vision damage. I’m terrified and anxious and ashamed. I don’t want to feel any of that and more often than not I buffer by eating chips or something that makes it even worse. All the added drama about it being medical and not “just” weight feels like this is just too hard. I’m not the type that always follows through, that always does what she says. I’m spontaneous (or spastic, depending on how nicely I want to spin the trait). Yes, that’s a thought, too, I know…

C protocol
T I’m not one of those people who can just drop flour and sugar
F discouraged
A eat whatever, eat in crazy bursts, stop listening to stop overeating classes, stop writing down my eating plan, renegotiate with myself constantly, try to make tradeoffs (I’ll let you have this if you don’t eat that)
R I don’t drop flour and sugar

C eating plan
T I choose to eat this way out of love and commitment for me and my family, even if it is hard sometimes.
F dedicated
A make delicious food without flour and sugar for me to enjoy, enjoy my family, develop non-food hobbies, possibly stop buying the treats I fall for (?), finish the stop overeating module and then move onto other exciting goals
R I eliminate flour and sugar

I’m not sure if I’ve nailed it with the T/F lines on my second model. I look forward to any coaching you offer! Thank you.