I’m really enjoying the urge jar – it’s more than 1/2 full now and it gives me lots of satisfaction to look at it!
I’m noticing a couple of interesting things:
1) the length of my urges is really decreasing – often now it’s enough to just note “oh, it’s an urge” and then it’s dissipated in 30 seconds
2) the one kind of urge that seems to hang around a lot is a “food disappointment” urge. Which is what happens when I eat my planned food and it’s just… not yummy, or kind of gross to me. Like, I just had some fish as planned but the fish was much more full of small bones than I expected so instead of being a nice meal it was just a bit gross, constantly having to pick out bones and biting down on small pieces of bone. And now my brain is prompting me with lots of “nice food” ideas to “make up for it”.
I’m sitting with it. Noticing it. Being here with how sad I feel that my meal wasn’t pleasant. It’s almost like… grief. (I am actually in grief right now after a bereavement, so that is quite an intense feeling for me that I’m having a lot at the moment.) I’m feeling disappointed, in my mouth and my throat and in the centre of my chest…. a kind of buzzing hot feeling. It feels heavy in my head. As you can tell, I’m using this box to sit with my feelings and my urge! (I might even go over 10 minutes for the first time ever and get a SECOND BEAD.)
I’m interested in whether you have any insight into why this particular kind of urge seems so prolonged for me? Maybe it doesn’t really matter, and I can sit with it just like any other urge? Is there any value in analysing why and when urges come up, or is that giving them too much importance and instead I can just say to myself “this is an urge, I can handle an urge”?