I recently wrote down this model:
C: I am the head of my household.
T: I am living by accident.
A: I am swept along by events. I wait for people to make decisions for me. I give away my power. I beat myself up in advance. I create angst (in my head). Negative self talk.
R: My life has no real meaning, purpose and direction.
I then took one of these actions to explore it further, as a circumstance, which resulted in this model:
C: I wait for people to make decisions for me.
T: I choose victim mode.
A: Negative self talk. Find evidence I’m in this negative pattern. Make it mean I’m weak. Doubt my leadership skills. React disproportionately against outside insight. Do not accept or grow from others’ input.
R: Keep myself trapped and small, no options.
In doing this, I realized that I’m constantly judging my behaviors (shaming myself about my pattern of waiting for others to make decisions for me). Rather than trying to change the action/circumstance, I tried a model that includes a more positive thought about that pattern:
C: I wait for other people to make decisions for me.
T: I enjoy input from others as it can save me from a lot of extra work.
A: Pay attention to experts. Curate information. Trust myself. Balance weighing with action. Allow minimal input to be enough. Let my voice matter (hear myself as part of the process)
R: I empower myself to make decisions without fear of judgment about how I get there.
Is this an okay (effective) way to use the model? (Taking an Action from one model and using it as a Circumstance in another to see what unfolds?)