Values Struggle

Hi Brooke,

I have an easier time applying the model to what seems like more situational thoughts vs when I’m struggling with a value, and I’d appreciate your help to better respond to the latter. As an example…

C: I’m single in my 30s, and none of my close friends have time for me anymore.

Historically speaking, I’ve struggled situationally with thoughts that certain close friends have “forgotten about me”, “don’t care anymore”, etc., which I’ve largely learned to reframe/avoid over the years – especially since I do sincerely believe it’s generally been about them and their lives (boyfriends, marriages, kids, etc) vs a reflection of me or our friendship. I’ve learned from such experiences that changing my thoughts can help lesson certain negative feelings, like hurt or anger.

That said, I don’t know how to feel better about the relational absence/void that is still left, even if I redirect negative thoughts about others’ actions or intentions. I still miss/grieve friends as specific people/relationships… plus also miss that my heart feels more engaged and my life feels more meaningful when I’m able to invest in/with people I dearly love. I’m a classic introvert, who cares/invests deeply, personally in quality over quantity of relationships… so it doesn’t feel realistic to think that I will just replace close friends readily/immediately, or that I’ll change/reframe this value to something easier to find/keep in this phase of life. Yet – if that’s the case – what is a productive place to direct my thoughts when they gravitate to this struggle?